My grandfather passed away this week

A jumble of thoughts

Thasneema
6 min readSep 19, 2024

I woke up to the sound of my husband's quiet murmuring on the phone in the next room. He is speaking in Malayalam which is odd, I wonder who he’s speaking to.

I stay lying down, staring into the ceiling above, images of the past week flash in front of me. The long journeys from home to India and back. The blank walls and the spinning fans of the palliative centre we spent the last few days at. The big lump at the back of my throat and the deep weight in my chest.

But one image lingers — its the image of my grandfather in that hospital bed all hunched up. His body… so thin and so frail. His eyes glazing past us all, rolling upwards into the distance beyond. His lips dried and chapped, constantly moving in remembrance of his Lord.

I sit up, and grab my phone, trying to push those images away. ‘Oh Allah, please grant him a full recovery and ease his suffering’ I whisper.

My husband walks into the room and settles next to me, his hand rubbing my arm. I smile and lean into him. It’s been a whole week since I’d seen him. It was nice to be back.

‘Thasni’, he quietly murmurs, almost whispers.

“Mhmm’, I reply, my eyes closed, my body relaxed against him.

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Thasneema

I write about the things I learn along this journey on life. I write about my faith - Islam, of personal growth and more. Find me on Instagram: @tas.neemuu