I’m scared to be kind and that scares me
(Read for free here)
These past few days, I’ve found myself hesitating to do kind things. It’s not that I’m actively trying to be unkind or anything. It’s just, when a situation presents itself where I can go out of my way to be kind or helpful to someone, I hesitate.
And that scares me.
I’ve been thinking about why this hesitation has become a thing, because I really don’t like it.
Fear of Expectations
I feel like when we were younger, doing kind acts of kindness was always appreciated. Cooking for your family was something special, it was something you announced to the household. Helping your teacher clean up her class or deciding to bake for the funfair — all these moments were seen as you going out of your way to do something, doing something unexpected. And as a result, it was seen as something special and so something highly appreciated.
But then as you grow older, and you enter the phase of adulthood — of being an employee, a daughter in law, or even a niece. And the roles you play in life are no longer as 2d as they were when you were younger. Every relationship as an adult has a give and take. Naturally as a result, things…
