Finding Peace Within The Storm of Emotions
Today I woke up for Fajr with so many negative emotions.
Annoyed at myself for not waking up earlier.
Worried about my relationship with Allah as my Khushu dwindles more and more.
Anxious that I have so many ideas for this blog and nothing is coming to fruition.
Overwhelmed with the amount I need to catch up on in my Islamic studies program.
And overall, just kinda hating myself for not being enough in anything. Not enough in my relationships, not enough in my Islamic studies, not enough in my writing.
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As I sat there looking at my journal entry, looking at all these emotions pouring it out of me it hit me that subhanallah there’s a dua that literally talks about nearly every one of these emotions.
اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنَ الْهَمِّ وَالْحَزَنِ، وَالْعَجْزِ وَالْكَسَلِ، وَالْبُخْلِ وَالْجُبْنِ، وَضَلَعِ الدَّيْنِ، وَغَلَبَةِ الرِّجَالِ
Allaahumma ‘innee ‘a’oothu bika minal-hammi walhazani, wal’ajzi walkasali, walbukhli waljubni, wa dhala’id-dayni wa ghalabatir-rijaal
O Allah, I seek Your protection from anxiety and sadness, from weakness and from laziness, from miserliness and from cowardice, from being overcome by debt and overpowered by men (i.e. others).
I spent the rest of that morning just repeating the dua and asking Allah for His help.
And alhamdulillah by the time the afternoon reached, I was grateful for the morning breakdown.
The beauty of moments of difficulty
Honestly I had no intentions of sharing this but the place of peace I reached by the afternoon made me reflect on the beauty of moments of difficulty.
Because without that mini morning breakdown I wouldn’t have opened my journal and started to write from my heart. I wouldn’t have reevaluated what my days were looking like and what my goals were for the future.
I wouldn’t have spent my morning in remembrance of Allah through this dua.
I’m definitely not saying to look forward to the next difficulty coming your way, but just to appreciate that there is always a silver lining for every trial that Allah gives you.
To remember that there is always ease with difficulty, like He has told us. There is always ease with difficulty.
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If you reached till the end of this reflection, thank you my friend. I appreciate it!
I hope we get to meet each other in my next reflection too. Until then, if you have any thoughts about what you’ve just read let me know (in the comments or any other way). I’d love to start a conversation!
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