Writing has always been my fear but there are so many words inside of me, waiting for a page to fall on. So this is my attempt to push past this fear — a reflection a day in writing.
08/06/2021 Tuesday
—
Usually I don’t allow myself to scroll through my phone in bed in the mornings but Tuesdays are an exception. My phone is already in my hand as my eyes slowly open. I groggily press my thumb against the fingerprint scanner and, for the gazillionth time, am momentarily blinded as the fingerprint light flashes right into my half-asleep eyes. Well atleast I’m awake now, I grunt, and swipe down to check my notifications. A smile stretches across my face, it’s here.
Tuesdays are an exception because Tuesdays are Love Letter days.
No we are not confessing anything here. Every Tuesday, a letter full of beautful reflections and musings arrives into my inbox from a wonderful writer/podcaster/influencer sister, Aida Azlin. It’s been years since I’ve signed up but I still look forward to Tuesday mornings. I feel like I always seem to find an answer to something I’ve been searching for throughout that week in her letters. Every letter feels like an answer from my Lord.
—
Today’s letter felt like it came as a reminder to myself about my relationship with dua. Sometimes, the whisper of a thought crosses my mind about a dua I’ve been making for a while — 'but when?’
The thing is, I know with certainty my Lord hears me as I raise my hands because He says ‘’I listen to the prayer of every suppliant when ever he calls to Me.’’ (2:186)). I also know with certainty that He answers all dua because our Prophet (s) tells us that all dua is answered in one of three ways. But sometimes, being human, the thought still worms its way into my mind.
This letter came at the perfect time. A small snippet -
Everything in this Universe is under Allah SWT’s watchful eyes and He has never, and will never, leave us alone to ourselves, not even for a split second. Because of this, He knows exactly when to give us whatever we need. He knows when to give us ease, and He knows when to test us with difficulty. He knows when to introduce someone new to our lives, and He knows when to take someone away too. He knows what we need, what we lack, when to “stir” us with change, when to “simmer” us with challenges, and also when to “shut the fire off” to let us rest.
So trust Him.
On top of this letter being an answer, Allah also blessed me with an example in my daily Quran portion. I’m currently reciting Surah Ali Imran and today I read past the stories of 3 duas and their responses — the dua of Hanna (Mayam (as)’s mother), the dua off Zakariyah (as) and the dua of Maryam (as). A reflection of these verses I’d heard previously came to mind.
Each of these duas were about children, yet each were given a different response. Hanna made dua for a son, yet Allah blessed her with a daughter, Maryam. Zakariya made dua for a son and he was blessed with one immediately. Maryam didn’t even make dua for a child and Allah blessed her with Esa.
When we make dua, we think we know what’s best for us and when it’s best to have. But so did Hanna as she asked her Lord for a son. She only wanted one to dedicate him to the worship of Allah. Yet, even with such a pure intention, He blessed her wiith a daughter instead. But this was no ordinary daughter. This was a daughter that grew up to be Maryam, one of the best women to walk on the face of the earth.
Allah reminds us — He knows better.
Allah only answers dua with what is best, when it is best. This means I might not get exactly what I asked for or get what I asked for today, but I need to remember; for sure this can only be better than what I asked for, even though I may not understand today.
So trust Him. Trust in His plan.
